This week OMH speaks to our very own tough tackling and talking midfielder Richard Clarke, does his bit for team morale, also discusses school girls and immigration.
OMH: So Richard thanks for agreeing to this interview, how are you?
RC: Very good thank you.
OMH: Firstly how’s your injury?
RC: It’s a little bit sore, but it’s getting steadily better, however it just seems to be healing very slowly at the moment.
OMH: Are you going to play on Sunday (today)?
RC: I think I need to after the last two weeks performances especially after the way that some of players are performing.
OMH: What has been like watching? Are you a bad spectator?
RC: Yeah, very bad. I have noticed that the standard of football and the standard of refereeing has been terrible sometimes. I don’t think we’ve won one ball in midfield since I’ve been injured.
OMH: When I played we did.
RC: I don’t think we did (laughing).
OMH: What are your hopes for the season Richard?
RC: We’ve played Broadfields who are supposed to beating everyone and we were a lot better than them even without some of our better players. I mean we should be looking to getting quite high up the table. But if we don’t get the results were not going to get to far up (no shit Sherlock, ED.) But I have quite high hopes for us this season, if we play well and perform against the top sides.
OMH: Who’s our key player in your opinion?
RC: That’s a very good question (wanting to say himself), I think we look a lot more solid when we’ve got 50p and Jarv and the back. They make a massive difference, 50p makes quite a big difference. Obviously it’s nice to have Nick back this season.
OMH: Which Nick?
RC: Nick Wale. I think he’ll win us some penalties and a few free kicks around the area.
OMH: Are you saying that Nick is a diver? (Pushing for controversy).
RC: (Laughing) No he is most certainly not a diver, he’s a very good footballer.
OMH: This month’s hot topic, who should take the penalties for the Rangers? We’ve had Dave Morren take them, James Wheeler, James Dutton and Paul Jarvis all have 100% record. We’ve also had Richard Dutton miss about Five.
RC: (Butting in) I’m happy for Dave to keep taking them, as long as he keeps scoring that’s fine by me. Just like to say that I’ve got 100% record, never missed (starts clicking his fingers).
OMH: Women in football what’s your opinion?
RC: I think it’s brilliant! Charlie and Chandler have been brilliant this season.
OMH: We have seem some girls at training, what about the lovely Jennie and Tanja.
RC: Well I think she (Jennie) should start on Sunday, I think she is better than half the players we’ve got, she certainly puts in a lot more work. She also listens to what she’s bloody been told as well. When I say pass me the ball, she bloody passes it or she’s in trouble.
OMH: Do you think as a rule change, female footballers should be made to swap shirts at the end of the game.
RC: Most definitely.
OMH: What is your fondest Headstone Rangers memory?
RC: Ummm, I enjoyed my first Headstone Rangers goal. That was a last minute winner against CB Hounslow was great as that was to win the game. I also enjoyed my left footed volley against Inter Manor last season, that was pretty nice.
OMH: The one you thought should have been goal of the season?
RC: Yep, that was quality. It’s really weird coz usually I’m such a winner, I love it when we win. The game against Old Road when we were 3-0 down after 15 minutes. The way we battled back and they had an absolute ‘w&£~$r’ playing. I remember putting him down and I really enjoyed, he had to go off injured that was good.
OMH: What do you prefer scoring a goal or making a really strong crunching tackle?
RC: Both, I like making crunching tackles as that happens more in a game. Scoring a goal is nice though.
OMH: There has been some speculation about you wanting the captaincy off Paul Dutton, is this true?
RC: (muffling in back ground)
OMH: Okay Richard Clarke has just commented on Amanda Holden’s breasts, did you hear that Jennie? Good Stuff, what is your opinion on the captaincy.
RC: This sort of talk is irrelevant really. Skipper is the Skipper, you know, I’ve always said to him he’s the guy with the armband. Obviously when he’s not playing and I’m offered the armband I am more than happy to take it and lead the Rangers. When he’s around everybody looks to him to lead the way. To be honest with you there should be 11 captain’s out there. Mate
OMH: Immigration, let’s ask you about immigration. How do you feel about Asylum Seekers in this country?
RC: Look I’m not getting pulled into ending up on BBC One programme about teachers and racism. (Trying Not to Laugh) No comment.
OMH: Are you enjoying your job?
RC: I’m loving my job!!! It’s hard work but I do enjoy it.
OMH: What’s your favourite part of the job? Not including school girls.
RC: Six-Formers!
OMH: Thanks very much for the interview, Richard.
RC: My pleasure.