Paul Jarvis is arguably the most gifted player at the club (although he looks more like a camp cabaret singer). In his first interview for four years ‘The Jarv’ talks about his favourite moments of being a Ranger? His love affair with Pop Singer Karen Moody and who is ‘officially’ the worst player at the club!
JW: Hello Jarv how are you?
PJ: Not bad fella, are you alright?
JW: Yep can’t complain, can’t complain how’s the latest injury? And what actually have you done as I don’t really know?
PJ: Yeah, well I actually made it up. No its exactly the same injury as last year with my thigh so it is not as bad as I first thought and I’m seeing the physio tomorrow and we’ll see what happens then.
JW: Are you playing any football this weekend?
PJ: Nope I am giving it a rest.
JW: How do you feel about our excellent start to the season? We are unbeaten from open play and we’ve only lost once on penalties.
PJ: The Gaffer loves saying that doesn’t he?
JW: Oh yes all he ever says is ‘we’re unbeaten in open play!’
PJ: The reason why he loves it so much is that we haven’t done it before and he thinks it’s fantastic. He’s right it is fantastic. We generally start the season poorly even a couple of years ago when we finished third, and if we had won some more games we would have finished higher! Although we have let in a few goals, I think that once we’ve got used to the system we’ll be fine.
JW: Are you a fan of 4-3-3 or the 4-3-2-1 or whatever you want to call it?
PJ: (Laughing)
JW: You are a poor judge however as you have only played twice on the pitch with it!
PJ: I have to admit that
I’m not much of a tactician and I was all for the wing-backs last season and we
only played twenty minutes of that and I thought that was going to work but it
obviously didn’t. 4-3-3 is good, I think its always good to try something new
and I think after last season something had to be changed regardless to whether
we dropped down a division or not. I’m liking it and we’re winning with it, so
can’t be to bad can it?
JW: So who’s stood out and been our star players so far this campaign?
PJ: Well Skipper has really stood out for me. His first two minutes when he came on as sub against Bellmullet Town where awesome when he came on and kicked lumps out of them. After that he’s settled down and he’s playing very well.
JW: What about Skipper’s corner on Sunday?
Everybody starts laughing
PJ: You should have seen the Gaffer he loved it. It set up a goal what else can you say . . . . vision!
JW: Would you like to describe it for everyone that wasn’t fortunate enough to see it?
PJ: I didn’t see what happened as there were supporters in the way but other eye witnesses reported that Skip was running around the corner flag to kick the ball. His run up was wrong to start with and he then sliced the kick to about 25 yards from goal straight to one of their forwards.
JW: Andy Carr has started the season very impressively. What are your views on Geezer’s start?
PJ: I was very impressed with him last year. Last year when everyone else was being below par and rubbish. Geezer kept on running and his work rate was fantastic and although he didn’t get too many goals last year he put the effort in. This year he’s carried on the same but he’s got the goals as well and although he missed the odd chance he has scored in every game this season and if you include the last game of last season he’s scored seven in six.
JW: What is your favourite Headstone Rangers game?
PJ: Many people have said this over the years but the Larkspur Rovers 4-2 was my favourite. It was a while a go now but it was while I was at university so I wasn’t playing many games but it was good to come back and play with Pete Cotton who was so solid and it was against Larkspur who have beaten us recently. So then when we were younger was a massive result.
JW: Favourite goal?
PJ: Well Chris Morren has put this question down the pan as my favourite was my strike against Clerys Clock that was a goal but he ******* disallowed as it went through the net! The Goalie shook my hand after the game the ******* and said ‘It was in!’. I said ‘What the **** are you telling me that for you ******* ****** I know it was and it was 9-0 at the team. I’m glad he took up refereeing. No Chris is alright really but he did get that one wrong really. I’d have to pick my first goal against The Railway when we beat them 4-1. It wasn’t a great goal but it was my first goal for the club. Matty is pointing at me saying pick my goal as favourite, but I can’t mate as I didn’t see it!
MW: Please Jarvo, I’m going to have to retire pick it!
PJ: Haaaaaah, thank god for that! Skipper’s goal against Hatch End Reserves was absolutely awesome!
JW: What his tap in on Sunday?
PJ: He actually said that was more difficult than the first one! No his volley a couple of seasons ago. You’ll laugh at this but even a pro would have been proud of that finish. If you wanted to see how to strike the ball from the edge of the box. It had pace, power and I can’t believe I’m going to use the word technique in the describing Skipper.
JW: Unless of course you use the word ‘poor’.
PJ: Granted, he absolutely drilled it and the noise of the strike was unbelievable. The thump it made was like you were watching a Premiership Forward strike the ball.
JW: As Duttsy said he didn’t think that Skip could kick the ball that far!
PJ: I read his interview and he saying that Skipper had this cheeky grin on his face and that’s half of it I suppose. He’s never scored a goal like that before so you don’t expect it from him.
JW: Right Jarv I am going to fire several questions at you know and I want you to say the first thing that comes into your head.
PJ: Oh man I could say the wrong thing and embarrass myself.
JW: Hopefully, are you ready?
PJ: Go for it.
JW: Biggest Player?
PJ: ummm Ajay.
JW: Worst Player?
PJ: Oh no its got to be **** !
The whole room erupts in fits of laughter
JW: Best Player?
PJ: Liggo!
JW: Quickest Player?
PJ: Duttsie!
JW: Smelliest Player?
PJ: No doubt Skipper!
JW: Dirtiest Player?
PJ: Clarkey and you a bit dirty aren’t you Wheels!
JW: Oldest looking player?
PJ: Geezer! Got to be!
JW: Most boring player?
PJ: On or off pitch?
JW: Both.
PJ: Me off it and Ace on it!
JW: Olly’s best mates?
PJ: His uni friends, the Gay one with the hair band.
JW: Thanks for that mate, that was really enlightening.
PJ: No one is going to talk to me now are they?
JW: What has our goal got to be for this season?
PJ: We’ve got to get promoted.
JW: That’s the minimum is it?
PJ: That’s the minimum. Obviously we would like to be Champions but even if we’re runners up we go up but we really need to win the league. We want to better ourselves.
JW: Jarvo where is your favourite position? Do you prefer Left Back, Centre Back or even Midfield?
PJ: Definitely not Goalie!
Everyone starts laughing again
JW: I heard it wasn’t very good!
MW: Jarv’s favourite position is ‘Man on Top . . . . Woman in Magazine’!
More Laughter
PJ: I really like Left Back I really do. Centre back is probably now my position and I’m turning into a bit of a donkey which is mainly down to Saturday. But before I used to think of myself as someone who could create chances and this, that and the other on a Sunday. But on Saturday they decide to have 10 better players including the Goalie who are more skilful than me and then they say is ‘stop that Geezer on the ball and then give it to someone else who can play football’. I mean I really am a centre back now. I played full back in the Cup the other week and I didn’t know what to do.
JW: So who’s your relationship going with Karen then?
PJ: That is a very personal question and I will decline to answer it. I am only talking about football and Headstone Rangers Football Club.
JW: Will you be the next player to get engaged?
PJ: I don’t know, we have plans for the future but we’ll have to wait and see won’t we.
JW: Do you want to be the next manager of the club?
PJ: No I haven’t got a clue about tactics, playing and availability points. Haven’t got a clue so I would rather be like Alan Hansen.
JW: Cheers Jarvo
PJ: Thanks Fellas.