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Welcome one and all to the first On My Headstone Online , this monthly web magazine will go hand in hand with the OMH matchday programmes that I have produced over the last nine years. The magazine will be published online at the end of every month and will take a serious and funny look at the events that have occurred at the club and the football world in general. It will bring together the best parts of the previous month's programmes One of the many features will be the Gaffer's exclusive online column which can only be read exclusively online and it will not be published in the matchday programme. The Gaffer will give his views on Headstone's performances in the last couple of months as well his opinions on the major talking points of professional football. The past month of football has had some real up and down moments. We started 2006 superbly by beating Perivale Residents Association to enter the last eight of the Middlesex Cup. This is a fantastic achievement for the entire club and lets hope that the adventure doesn't stop here and that we beat St Mary's Edmonton on Feb 12th and reach the semi-finals. Obviously our league form has dipped recently and that's something that we need to put right against Hatch End Reserves on February 5th, our first game of the month. Hope that everybody enjoys On My Headstone Online and lets hope that next month we are reporting some more encouraging results.
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Every month we will look at what has
happened during that month down the years. 1998 Our first February as a football club was pretty uneventful. Of the four games we played we lost three, an 11-1 hiding by New Islip 'D' being the worst result of the month. Our only victory was a 6-3 win over Angies V. Olly 'Ace' Cotton struck his first hat-trick for the club in this game. 1999 Feb 99 also produced another Olly Cotton hat-trick, this time Churchills were the unlucky opponents, with Olly scoring his third with a magnificent curling strike.
2000 2000 brought yet another hat-trick this time Andy 'the little fella' Carr in our 5-2 win against Middlesex Arms. Geezer finished the month with four goals which was the same amount as Charlie scored. American Midfielder Ross Minckler became our first foreign player and grabbed a goal against The Railway (now Xotic). 2001 Highly uneventful month with just
two games played resulting in a draw and a defeat. 2002 Our one win of the month, a 5-3 win against Hayes Lions will long live in the memory of all Rangers players. Not so much for the result but for the antics of club captain Paul Dutton. With Skip eager to come on and influence the game from the bench, he dropped his tracksuit bottoms to suddenly realise that he forgot to put on his shorts!
2003 2003 is the only time that we remained unbeaten in February. Crofty this time was the Ranger to grab a hat-trick becoming the first player to score a three goals from midfield (all previously had been from up front). 2004 The most notable game of Feb 04 was our penalty shoot out victory over AC Carrera. The game was awful, no goals and no quality! The shoot out will be best remembered by a shocking miss from Nick Reynolds, his effort barely made to the goal. 2005 Last year was pretty uneventful! We only played two games. The first in a friendly against Old Alpertonians ended in a 3-0 defeat even though we played pretty well. However the game will be remembered for Clarkey spending 30 minutes before the game in the toilet! Also Jimbob had to drag a pissed Geezer out of his bed and onto the pitch! Geezer then ended up breaking his toe.
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FEBRUARY RESULTS IN FULL
Andy 'Geezer' Carr
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MICHAEL STIPE JAMES HAMER Found by Norman 'No' Mates -------------------------------------------------------------------------- While on our way home from a Bluetones gig in early November. A rather drunk Jarvo and Matty spotted a rather odd looking ginger kid who looked remarkably like our own Charlie Rogers. What do you think?
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A very cheeky site which cuts out all the b*%$*£*s on political correctness and copyrights involved with producing football / t-shirts on mass.' tshirts365.com' has designed and produced some really great t-shirts with extremely amusing slogans at low cost prices. SOME OF OUR FAVOURITES 'Losing is the new Winning' 'Stop Talking About Rugby' 'I Like To Play in the Hole' 'Martin 'Monkey Man' Keown' 'Ruud Van Nistlerooy Long Face t-shirt' |
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Each month OMH will ask a Rangers legend to name their top five moments in Rangers History. This month we start with Rangers Chairman Richard Dutton.
1) Our magnificent 4-2 victory over Larkspur in the cup in 1999-2000. A tremendous giant killing feat with two of the important goals scored by yours truly! ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The best tour ever! It was the mighty Rangers' first venture into Europe and a great time was had by all.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I notched my first and most memorable goal for the Rangers, a sweetly struck 25-yarder into the top corner. A definite goal of the season if we had been voting for that award back then!
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Any win over Carrera is satisfying and this one was even more so after some of the Carrera boys were giving it the large one in the run up to the game telling me how they would thrash us. Bragging rights well and truly restored to the Rangers. Who are ya? Who are ya?
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- It was a great honor to
receive this award in my first full season for the club. |
By Phil Crowcroft London News
It has recently been reported that there has
been some very dodgy activity happening in the Paddington area of
London. The rumor is that either Rosso is shagging Liggo, Liggo is
shagging Rosso or Rosso is shagging in Liggo's bed.
Whether his shagging is with Liggo in his own bed or with someone else, my sources are yet to reveal. Perhaps Rosso and Liggo are both shagging in the same bed at the same time, with different men or the same one. Well who can tell as I'm confused now about whose shagging who. The only thing I am confident on is that all this bottom activity has taken place in Liggo's bed. Local News
At the recent Headstone Rangers Quiz, which
my table was useless in, the Gaffer took yet
another swig of beer only for Neil Goodman to make him giggle.
This had the effect of making the Gaffer
spit all his recently taken mouthful of lager right into the face of
Bagpipes. A perfect shot as you could say.
Disturbing News
After the publication in the last programme
of Ace's female equivalent, Duttsy got so excited he exclaimed that she
would get it big time.
Does this mean that he also fancies Ace as they looked alike. Very worrying indeed. Well I suppose Ace does have breasts, whether they are as nice as his female equivilant I shall let Duttsy answer that one. Childish News
On are very own ginger ninja's first day
working at Mr Clark's school, he went back to his car at the end of the
day to find some cheeky chappie had bent his aerial back. It has not
been confirmed yet whether the cheeky chappie was a small kid in an
extra large blazer or in fact Mr Clark.
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Earlier in the week, OMH spoke to Goalkeeper Ajay Ghelani about his memories and hopes for the club. As always with our number 79, his views were honest and he certainly pulls no punches. OMH: Hiya Ajay, how are you? AG: Very good Wheeler. OMH: Did you enjoy training last night? AG: No I’m injured now, my knee is killing me . . . it was really good actually, especially as we won! OMH: Yeah I know my knee aches now! You’ve only played once this season, which was a friendly in September. So you’re only footy has been at training on Wednesday nights. You’ve missed only a couple of nights so you must really be enjoying it? AG: No not really mate! Starts laughing OMH: So you just turn up for the hell of it? AG: It’s something to do on a Wednesday night. I do enjoy it really! OMH: It must still be good to show everyone you can still play? I know the Gaffer has been very impressed with your performances. Also its your only opportunity to see some of the players. AG: Yep. OMH: Who do you think is your hardest opponent in training? AG: Jimbob, because he is a fellow keeper I always like to score past him in training. OMH: What about outfield players? AG: On the field . . . Jarvo OMH: Why? AG: He gets around the pitch, tackling and getting his body in the way of everything. OMH: You haven’t seen a lot of your team-mates playing this season but we are of course in the last eight of the Middlesex Cup. How far can we get with the players we have? AG: Well in my opinion it’s in our own hands we have some great players and I think we should win it! OMH: And you would be available for the final? AG: Yeah I’d play in the final. OMH: If
selected? AG: Why would I be dropped? Both Start laughing OMH: What part of your game would you like to improve the most? AG: I don’t know mate. I’m currently in great shape, fit as a fiddle and I have a great physique! Try’s not laugh OMH: So not fitness then? AG: definitely not fitness. OMH: So where would you wish to improve? AG: I think shooting has been a bit dodgy in training recently, so lets say that! OMH: Okay, lots of people don’t realise that in our first season you played up front or right midfield, you were second top scorer but the following year you damaged your knee and you hardly played on the pitch since then. Do you miss playing on the pitch? AG: No not really mate, it’s much easier playing in goal and the team has progressed too far for me to try and play on the pitch now. OMH: You’re happy just to play in goal? AG: I’m much happier watching!! No goalkeeping it is for me! OMH: What’s your favourite Rangers goal? AG: It’s got to be Wheeler’s first goal, a penalty against Harrow Observer! OMH: Cheers Ajay, the money is in the post! Why is it your favourite? AG: Because I couldn’t believe Skip let you take it and after you scored you didn’t know how to celebrate. OMH: As usual you’re taking the piss out of me! AG: yep! OMH: What has been your favourite Rangers Game? There has to be one that sticks in your mind. AG: On tour last year when we both made two of the worst challenges in the club’s history! OMH: Those tackles weren’t too clever! Those Dutch lads just took it though, they didn’t seek any retribution. AG: They were a bit scared! They saw two fat bastards and they didn’t fancy it and I think they thought that shouldn’t argue with us. OMH: Who is the most underrated player at the club? AG: Crofty by a mile, he’s quality but very few people see it! OMH: Why is he underrated? AG: He is one of the best players we’ve got! Very rarely has a poor game, he gets around the pitch doing all the dirty work! Wheelie, you’re the most under achieving player at the club. Your last couple of years have been poor! OMH: I haven’t finished yet! I’ve been injured and working. AG: no excuse, we need you fit and playing well. OMH: Thanks Ajay! AG: No probs. Both start laughing OMH: Who’s been the best player since the club has been formed? AG: Jarvo is comfortably our best ever player. He is just a superb all-round footballer. OMH: What are his strengths? AG: Everything! OMH: No weaknesses? AG: Get’s injured too much, but I don’t know if that’s his fault? OMH: If you could change one thing about the club what would it be? AG: The ground! I would love to go back and play at The Croft. I loved playing there! OMH: There was something magical about playing at the Theatre of Dreams wasn’t there? AG: Yeah it was the best water-logged pitch every f*&^£@g year! OMH: Which tour has been your favourite? AG: The first one, Amsterdam. It has to be Amsterdam. It was great, a top place to go. We had like eight of us in a room and it was blinding. It was a great set of people. . . . good times! OMH: Which footballer did you love to watch as a kid? AG: Roberto Baggio. OMH: When he was at Juventus or AC Milan? AG: Any of them, that man was a genius very classy! Maradona was class too. OMH: Who’s the funniest player at the club? AG: Dave Morren, because he’ll always do something that will make you laugh or feel better about yourself! But he is a good sport as he takes it as a pinch of salt and weaker people would have left the club years ago! OMH: You were of course a member of the famous Headstone Rangers ‘Brat Pack’ in the late 90’s that used to go and get wrecked in Harrow. What was your favourite night? AG: We had a night our in Hendon. You, Matty and Jarv were there. We got so drunk that I fell asleep in the corner for an hour before I was promptly thrown out! OMH: That was a top night! You were kicked out quite late! Ajay thanks for your time and have a good night. AG: Its been a pleasure Wheelie, cheers.
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Last Saturday Afternoon I visited Griffin Park, the home of my beloved Brentford Football Club. They were playing the mighty Premiership side 'Sunderland' in the fourth round of the FA Cup. WHAT A RESULT! The underdog winning 2-1 and completely out playing their Premiership opponents in every department. Now the attention turns to us as we have a massive game in the quarter-finals of the Middlesex Junior Cup and whilst watching Brentford beating Sunderland it made me think of our forthcoming fixture with St Mary's (Edmonton).
They play a division above us in their league structure so we must be focused and take the game to them, we must be up for it in every area of the game and then who knows what we can achieve. Onwards and upwards. THE GAFFER
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