DEADLY DUTTSY BREAKS NORTHOLT HEARTS
It all began with a Mozzer hand break turn into the car park. Though I have to say it was expertly performed. As ever the changing room was full of happy faces and people full of joy of yet again having to play for the Rangers. With match fees the same at £2, everyone turned up with a £20 expecting the correct change and as per usual, Mozzer had forgotten his wallet. Is this an attempt to just wind up the Gaffer on a weekly bases? Who knows and quite frankly, does anyone care?
With Larner stuck in traffic, given the wrong post code by Wheels or just simply couldn’t be bothered, the Rangers started with 10, awaiting the arrival of the ill Chaz. Duttsie filled the lone strikers role well, well he is big enough for 2 strikers. Even with 10 men, the Rangers looked comfortable and played some good football. IB and Shamu combined well to create chances down the left and Charlie (With his auburn hair) partnering the none haired Hunter at the back looked solid. Chaz eventually arrived after about 10 minutes, with his fan club and then proceeded to take 10 further minutes to get on the pitch.
The only goal of the game came on the half hour mark. Shamu beat several players with ease as usual and for once passed. Duttsie was on to it like a flash. Bobbled the ball past 2 players as only Duttsie can and fired a shin pad shot past the goalie as only Duttsie can. I.e. it bobbled all the way and somehow found its way into the back of the net. Soon after Donald had to go off with a groin strain and the Rangers were back down to 10 men for the remainder of the game.
The second half saw some superb defending by the back 4, even with Crofty in it. The oppo’s only chance came when Hunter was roasted for pace, I’m sure not for the last time this season, only for the strikers shot to come back of the post after beating Ben easily. IB had the best Ranger chance, latching onto a through ball from Crofty, only to chip the goalie but hit the cross bar. A contender for Cross Bar Challenge on tour then. Again Ben ended up having a tantrum as he had to retrieve the ball from a few yards behind the goal, didn’t know his fitness was that bad.
With the growing dark, the rangers held on for a well deserved victory with the only thing truly visible was the moon reflecting of the Gaffa’s white England socks. Clark was awarded Man of the Match for marshalling the troops whilst Ben received his first Gary Tucker Award (Formally known as Twat of the match) for his poor command of the box and kicking.
Won 1-0 (J.Dutton), Friendly, Away.
Team: 4-4-2.
B.Aitken; D.Morren, A.Hunter, M.Rogers, I.Barrie; D.Ellam, P.Crowcroft, R.Clarke (C), N.Wale; J.Dutton, J.Chandler.
Referee: Oppo Provided.
Team Milestones
Best Ever Pre-season - 3 wins and 1 draw.
Article by Phil Crowcroft (website writer)