RAMPANT RANGERS DESTROY AFC HARROW

It was wet, wet, wet, and I don’t mean that oh so good 90’s pop group. It was absolutely shitttting it down and for some reason, Wheels forced us to play football.

Things did not get off to the best of starts, the oppo turned up for one forcing us to play and then we found out that Wheels had only bothered to wash his own goalkeeping kit and not the rest of the tops, the flucking stank, worse than a pair of my pants.

This game was won before we had really started. With the AFC Harrow 6-a-side containing virtually no-one from the team heading the Harrow Sunday Challenge Division one, things looked up for the Ranger boys. Our course was further helped by the fact that the oppo just did not want to play at all. For some reason they just did not want to play in the rain. What a bunch of girls, it was only rain after all.

AFC began the game at a very slow, what the fluck are we doing here pace. It wasn’t long before the Rangers had stolen possession and took the lead. 1-0 soon became 3-0 and the game was pritty much done and dusted in the first half. AFC’s only real change of the half came when Crofty was completely roasted by their only decent player (Not that type of roasting) only for Wheels to make a superb, for the camera’s, save to keep hold of that clean sheet. The Rangers managed to ass 1 more before the break.

The second half seemed to be very short and over before it had really got going. AFC had completely given up by this stage, changed their goalie and had completely gone to pot. 3 more goals were added by the Rangers to make it a comprehensive 7-0 thrashing, even though the dopey ref only had us down as scoring 6. That’s ref’s for you.

The best moment of the second half and the entire night came midway though the half as AFC managed a shot on target. It was an absolute thunderbolt that Wheels did well to save, with his FACE. In true Ranger style, the rest of us just burst out load laughing and shouting at Wheels for trying to eat the ball. The ref and oppo showed some concern for Wheel’s welfare, whilst we just carried on playing as normal.

All in all the game was a stroll with the Rangers playing some good expansive football. It’s amazing how well you can play without having to run up the flucking hill and try and kick a ball with 2 tonnes of mud and shite on your boots. But I’m sure we will have that pleasure for many more years yet.

Goal scorers were as follows as no matter how many time we told him, Wheels just couldn’t remember: Jarvo 2, Wale 2, Charlie 1, Ben 1, Crofty 1, Mini Jarv fluck all.

Won 7-0 (Nick Wale 2, Paul Jarv 2, Matt Rogers, Ben Aitken, Phil Crowcroft)

Team: James Wheeler (GK), Phil Jarvis, Duncan Buttle, Matt Rogers, Phil Crowcroft, Ben Aitken, Nick Wale

Man of the Match – Crofty

Twat of the Match - Wheels

Article by Phil Crowcroft  (website writer)

fatcrofty@yahoo.co.uk

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