RANGERS SECURE RECORD WIN

This week saw the debut of one Jamie the glass ankle Larner for the might Rangers, due to the fact that James 'I need surgery before I am injured' Wheeler was working and claims he needed surgery before he had got injured.

Upon arrival we were informed of another new rule brought in to try and get teams to turn up on time. For every 5 minutes that a team is late, 1 goal goes to the opposition. Fortunately for us we were in plenty of time.

Just 6 of us this week as per usual, Mr Surgery didn’t pick his team until an hour before kick off. It more resembled the start to our main team, Ben in goal, back four of Crofty, Mini, Jarvo, Charlie with Larner in holding centre mid, hardly the most attacking 6-a-side team.

 So we were playing for the clean sheet and hitting them on the break for a 1-0 victory. Well that game plan went tits up within the first minute thanks to Mini. Mini attempted a pass to Crofty at the back only for it to be read more avidly than a quality porn mag. The Arch striker was in and the Rangers were 1-0 down. That was about as good as it got for the Arch. Forced into action through Mini’s own goal, the Rangers soon took complete and utter control of the game. With surprisingly good fitness, the goals soon began to flow. Some quality passing and moving saw the Rangers 4-1 up at the break. Yes you did read correctly ‘some quality passing and moving.’

Though getting a spanking, the Arch were far too keen to start the second half, determined to fight back for a heroic victory. 1 dude in particular complaining over the time it took for Ben and Crofty to have a little drinkie. So much for their spirited comeback, the Arch shipped another 6 in the second half and could have been more if not for their goalie.

The Arch had a few chances to score, after rounding 3 Rangers, all trying to take the little flucker out, he had an open goal beckoning as Ben had gone down far to early, for him to trip over his own feet allowing Ben to smother the ball. Just like last time we beat them, the Arch didn’t really have any tactics when they went behind, well apart from lumping the ball into out box when their tallest player was doing the lumping and the rest were about the size of Mozzer, though not that short. They even resorted to trying to barge the fatted Crofty of the ball in the corner, sending in their thinnest bloke. Couldn’t he see the roles of blubber and protection bouncing all over the joint?

10-1 to the Rangers in the end!

Won 10-1 (Paul Jarvis 6, Matt Rogers 2, Phil Jarvis, Jamie Larner)

Team: Ben Aitken (GK), Phil Jarvis, Matt Rogers, Phil Crowcroft, Jamie Larner, Paul Jarvis.

Man of the Match – Jarvo

Twat of the Match - Mini

Article by Phil Crowcroft  (website writer)

fatcrofty@yahoo.co.uk

BACK TO 6-A-SIDE INFO